Derp

They say drinking alone is a sad thing. I say bah! There’s nothing like standing over a toilet, legs at shoulder’s width apart, taking a glorious piss and announcing to an invisible audience “I AM TAKING A GLOOOORIOUS PISS!” Hee hee!

Hey, I’m making an entry. It’s been what? 30 years since my last one? Oh well. All is well. I will wax poetical about depression on the next, but hey, for those that give a flying rat’s petoot, I’m alive and well.

Woke up around 7:00 p.m. Friday evening. Went to Wal-Mart and purchased 20 cases of Mountain Dew Ultra-Violet for $2.98 each. Made a giant iced coffee with four shots of espresso at 11:00. Went for a 3.25 mile run at 6:35 a.m. Returned at 7:05. By far the best running of my life. Breathing and temperature was perfect, Fall is beginning to show its hand. Did some freelance work. Finally settled on a design the client liked. Drank gratuitous amounts of Mountain Dew. (Zero calories!) Cleaned room, den, closet, and bathroom. Did laundry. Made tasty dinner. Had an excellent long conversation lasting well into the night. Watched favorite movie. Ended the night with some cuddles and an exquisite hug. Yeah, definitely an all around good day. All 31 hours of it. Time for bed.

Man, I actually love exercising. When did THAT happen? Today I did my first full circuit workout. I swam for a half hour, ran for a mile and a half (at not a granny pace mind you) and then cycled for 30 minutes during Good Eats. I’ve taken to sprinting during the commercials because then I can concentrate fully on breathing and posture then kind of veg out during the show so I can pay attention. I find it works well. When walking down the stairs after my legs decided to go “FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!” and I landed on my ass on the last step. To me this is a good workout. Now the question is, can I do it every day?

I posted another lasagna recipe today, check it out in the edibles section. I may post some actual opinion articles soon, but I might not. Who knows.

Man I really seem to fail and making regular posts. They seem about as regular as my bowels. Things aren’t going bad at least. I mean, sure, they could be better, but whose life couldn’t be better? I’ve been spending a good amount of time with people lately and several of them have really made it apparent that they care about me. It’s such a good feeling. Thanks guys. (Not that a lot of people read this, but thanks)

Check out the edibles section because I’ve been posting some stuff there at least.

I’m still running and swimming to try to get in shape. I’m breaking out the bike soon. I’ve started to lose some inches and have decided that I very much like it. I will continue. Yosh. Too bad the pool was closed due to weather today. I need to be in it every waking moment.

I swam again Thursday at L.A. Fitness and did a lot better. I swam a good hundred meters without stopping and about a half mile total with ample breaks. I also managed to get a week long guest pass. I should definitely swim again today since I took yesterday off to have lunch at Fogo de Chao for Dr. Krotch’s birthday.

Let me tell you, Fogo may be a Brazillian style restaurant, but it was the most American dining experience I’ve ever encountered. I was bombarded with meat. Salami, Serrano ham, tasty asparagus, Manchego cheese, three kinds of sirloin, leg of lamb, lamb chops, linguica sausage, assorted bacon-wrapped things oh my. I ate one meal yesterday and it was lunch. Oh *contented sigh*

Today’s plans involve the Indy zoo, finishing up a tattoo design, small Academy reunion at a local Greek’s and then who knows what. I just hope that there’s a bowel movement included among those plans because after Fogo, two cups of coffee and some Sailor Jerry, I still have yet to unload. This could be epic. Or painful. Or both. w00t!

After eating I hit up the Indianapolis Museum of Art with Kevin Bacon. Free parking. Free admission. Free wifi. Why the hell wouldn’t you go? I’ll definitely be going back. We didn’t get a chance to see all of the third floor and a few rooms here and there on the second floor, not to mention we only took a quick stroll through the gift shop. They had a pop-up Moby Dick! It was awesome.

Lordy freaking loo I have a new respect for swimmers now. In fact, it’s a crazy profound respect. I had a former competitive swimmer watch my stroke today to offer advice and I was only able to swim four laps in a 40 foot pool before I got winded and had to stop. I’ve definitely got a long way to go. I need to swim two days on with one day off until the triathlon and then maybe, *maybe* I’ll be able to make a half mile. I’m starting to think the Lake Lemon triathlon is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I’ve totally got my work cut out for me.

So how much time did I spent creating this website only to ignore it? Lordy. I ran my first 5k Friday at 11:15 p.m. and had a really great time. I went with fun people, met new fun people, saw some amazing (and I mean *amazing*) asses, and met all three of my goals. My three goals were:

• Don’t stop
• Not Last
• Under 40:00

The goal for next time is beat 30:00 min, which according to everyone I should be able to do. In lieu of this, I’m going to sign up for the Lake Lemon Triathlon and my roommate says that there’s mini marathon in March. I’m going to start training for both of those. I have a great road bike already, I just need to stop sucking at swimming. To help with that last problem I’ve enlisted the help of a former competitive swimmer to show me why I suck. I think I just really need to practice more. As of today I’m going to start a fitness section on my blog and keep track of the stuff I do for my goal. That way if I suck at a competition I can point out why.

Wish me luck!

I’ve been running now for about a month. Running is a terrible and strange beast. Each time I think I’m starting to get the hang of it, something else happens. I didn’t run for two days in a row for the first time since I started and today’s run was miserable. I almost felt like I was starting over. Of course, this could also be a function of the massive reuben I ate yesterday coupled with the milkshake. :/ I’m starting to get a grip on why real athletes look as freaking good as they do. Michael Phelps’ breakfast aside, I notice a direct correlation between the quality of food that I eat and my athletic performance. Take yesterday’s gut buster for example. After eating that, I ran poorly and felt horrible.

For years I’ve been trying to lose weight by dieting, but I’m starting to believe it really is exercise that drives the weight loss. Not just because I’m actively burning calories and building muscle, but because my brain is telling my body to eat differently. I know now when I eat that if I get that milkshake or eat until I’m stuffed that the next day’s run is going to horrible. I can’t believe I was able to run five and a half miles on Wednesday but could barely finished one and a half today. I think it’s almost entirely the contents of my stomach. (of course, I *did* take two days off, today was 15 degrees hotter, and I slept too much last night, just to be fair )

And now for the best thing I’ve heard a girl say to me in a very long time: “Do you really have to get in shape? You’re really comfortable the way you are.” While that was one of the nicest things I’ve heard someone say, I won’t let it weaken my resolve. As The Chase told me, “You feel better almost immediately. It gets easier after about a week. And you notice visible results in about three weeks.” And he’s right. I can comfortably wear my belt a notch tighter. My suit feels just a wee bit too big for me now. And, even though I don’t see much of a difference in the mirror, my stomach seems to be a bit smaller to me. I mean…it has to be right? If I’m wearing my pants tighter?

Some days the running sucks and hurts and is just a miserable experience, but as long as I keep doing it every day (with a break here and there) then I think I’ll be able to chisel away at my body until I get the figure I’m looking for, or at least something much closer. As Michelangelo always said, “The figure is inside the marble, just waited for me to release it.” And while I would *never* complain about looking like Michelangelo’s David, I would just hope my penis doesn’t emulate the statue’s.