Lasagna, Oji Style

Lately I’ve had a few in-depth discussions about lasagna. This, coupled with a recent Lasagna & Chianti Night at my place, have spurned several requests for my lasagna recipes. The recent dinner engagement included four lasagnas: traditional, chicken Florentine, Japanese seafood, and vegetarian.

Before we begin let me give you a little history of my experience with lasagna. It all started sometime during my sophomore year at BSU when a girl named Michelle grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into a kitchenette. (I know what you’re thinking, but no, it wasn’t like that) She said,

“We’re gonna make lasagna!” to which I replied,

“Cool, I’ve never done that.”

And it was way easier than I’d ever imagined. I’ve only made it three or four times since then, always just winging it, but it’s gotten rave reviews each time. (excepting the time that I followed a recipe mind you, please read about that here: Most Disappointing Lasagna Ever) This is the first time I’ve committed to paper (disk?) my methods for lasagna. Anyway moving on…

To me, lasagna is similar to pizza. It has a starch, a meat, a sauce, cheeses, and layers. Also similar to pizza is the need for each ingredient to simultaneously shine on its own and mesh with the other ingredients. When eating, a person should be able to appreciate the distinct flavors of each part but the gestalt should be overwhelming bliss. Given this idea of synergistic food, I make sure to pay special attention to not just the the sauce, but also the meat going in it before they’re combined. The beauty of lasagna is that you get you to taste every single ingredient before you bake it. You have complete control of how it will taste. Armed with this knowledge, be sure that the sauce and meat are both perfect before you assemble. If it doesn’t taste right fix it! Otherwise you have only yourself to blame.

As mentioned during the Lasagna & Chianti Night, I made four different versions. You’ll notice from the pics that I made them in loaf pans. This way I can stack them a bit higher than your typical cake pans and also I don’t have a retarded amount of leftovers to contend with. You can make them in whatever you want.

Traditional Lasagna
Ingredients:

• 1 pound ground turkey (I use turkey because I pretty much use turkey any chance I get instead of beef, but by all means you can use beef. If you do you use beef you will definitely want to drain as much of the excess liquid from the meat before combining it with the sauce. If you don’t do this, you’ll get failsagna. Also, you can add sausage and/or pepperoni to the meat mix, just be sure to use it as an addition and not as the majority of the meat)
• 5 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 1 onion, diced (I use the standard yellow onions in the five pound bags. If you want an arguably bolder taste, go with a red onion. If you want a sweeter taste, spring for a vidalia. If you want a crispier taste, get a white one.)
• 1 jar of the cheapest most basic pasta sauce you can find (Yes, I buy the sauce. However, I *really* mess with this stuff. I get the most basic stuff I can find and use it as a blank canvas. Meaning you should buy “tomato sauce” and not “tomato basil cheese herb garden sauce.” I’d love to try making lasagna sometime with fresh roma tomatoes and some tomato paste but as of yet, I haven’t gotten around to it.)
• Lasagna noodles (A single box made enough noodles for all four loaf pans)
• Mozzarella cheese (I use the shredded kind in a package but you can get the real stuff if you want. You’ll have to grate it yourself. The only reason I don’t use the good stuff is the money factor and, to a lesser extend, the moisture factor.)
• Parmesan cheese (Kraft kind is fine but parmigiana reggiano is retardedly awesome) (This ingredient is totally optional. If you’re a sucker for long dramatic strings of cheese when you lift out a piece, then you’ll definitely want this, otherwise you can leave it out.)
• Cottage Cheese (If I hear one peep about ricotta vs. cottage I swear I’ll throw a shoe. To me, cottage blends much better with traditional style lasagna. I reserve ricotta cheese for the more delicate seafood lasagna)
• Black pepper, salt, oregano, basil, garlic powder, cumin, thyme, rosemary, ground red pepper, paprika, soy sauce (sometimes)
• Sesame oil, chili oil, wok oil, veggie oil (I have a bottle with all of these mixed the way I like it, grab some oils mix them to your liking, put them in a bottle. You’ll thank me later)
• Olive Oil (used to keep things from sticking)

(You can do a lot of the following steps concurrently but doing multiple things at once in the kitchen makes some people panic so do these at your own pace. Each of the steps can be done separately with no harm, it just takes longer.)

1. NOODLES Boil water, salt generously and toss in the noodles. Be sure to move them around a bit in the beginning so they don’t stick. Nothing sucks more than tearing a noodle and having to boil more water for a single missing noodle. Lay out the noodles in the baking dish first to guess how many you need. Add three for contingency. Once the noodles are cooked, drain and rinse with cold water. (Protip: Any time you’re cooking pasta that’s going to get baked, give them a rinse in cold water to stop the cooking. Otherwise they’ll keep cooking in the oven and come out too squishy.)
2. SAUCE I absolutely don’t have precise measurements for this part. I’ve never tried to measure out what I add as I always do it by taste. We’re going for a “dark and somewhat spicy” taste. Most sauces are way too sweet and transparent out of the jar. Think dark chocolate espresso as opposed Irish Cream latte. So! Grab yourself a small sauce pan and empty the jar of pasta sauce into it. Set it to medium-low heat. First thing I do is upend a jar of garlic powder until I get a nice little mound sitting on top of the sauce. We’re talking about a heaping tablespoon here. Grind a very generous amount of black pepper into the sauce, a twist or two of salt, maybe a teaspoon or so of oregano, half teaspoon of basil, a quick swirl of ground red pepper (to taste), a couple dashes of cumin, a half or so teaspoon of thyme, and a sprinkle of rosemary. All of this is to taste. Make it bold. Make it balanced. Make it good. Sometimes you can have trouble getting that store-bought sweetness out of the sauce. You can alleviate this two ways. Either add a lot more black pepper and some more garlic powder or add in some soy sauce. Be sure to add in the soy sauce about 1/4 teaspoon at a time because it really upset the balance of your sauce. Once the sauce tastes right and starts to bubble randomly, turn it down to low.
3. MEAT Get a large skillet over high heat and coat it with some oil. Once the oil gives off a wisp of smoke, toss in the garlic and move it around. It should give a satisfying “PSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!” If it didn’t, the pan’s not hot enough. Once the garlic has a touch of color on it, toss in the onions and stir until they’ve wilted then add the MEAT. Stir to coat it in the flavored oil evenly then spread it out to cover as much of the hot pan as possible. Grind some salt and a decent amount of pepper onto the meat. Add essentially all of the ingredients that were added to sauce and stir. Now brown the meat. This does not mean to merely cook the meat until it turns grey. BROWN IT. To brown meat you need to cook it over high heat (not medium!) and let it sit for a few moments before moving. If you continually move your meat around it won’t have time to brown. Now I hear what you’re saying, “If I don’t keep it moving it’ll burn!” well, it browns before it burns, so just have faith and try it. The flavor that comes out with the browning is very important to complex and rich theme we’re going for. (If you’ve got a lot of juices, drain it. Don’t just drain it, get a heavy pan and squeeze that meat! If you have too much liquid, it’s bad news. If you make it with turkey, you probably won’t have to do this.)
4. MIX Once the meat is ready (it should be quite tasty if eaten on its own), turn the heat to low and pour the pan of sauce onto it. Stir to mix. Let this sit and bubble for five to ten minutes to blend.
5. ASSEMBLAH!
   1. Prep your pan by brushing the bottom with extra virgin olive oil.
   2. Put a layer of noodles down. If they’re too long, trim them down to size with kitchen shears or hack ‘em on a cutting board.
   3. Spoon on a layer of meat. You want to cover the noodles completely and that’s it. No noodles peeking through but also no giant piles. Make it even and make sure there’s meat everywhere.
   4. Top the meat with a generous layer of mozzarella between 1/4 and 1/2 inch thick. (yes, the mozzarella goes directly on top of the meat) Like the noodles, you want to cover it completely but not have it be ridiculously high. (This is where you would add the Parmesan if you want the long strings of cheese. For some reason, adding a dusting of parm under and on top of the mozz makes the cheese super stringy)
   5. Add another layer of noodles, no oil needed this time.
   6. Cover the noodles with 1/2 inch of cottage cheese.
   7. Add another layer of noodles.
   8. Repeat steps 3, 4, and 5
   9. Brush the top layer of noodles to prevent burning/drying and sprinkle a little bit of mozzarella on top (see pics). Garnish with crushed black pepper, oregano, basil and some paprika for looks.
6. BAKING Toss it in the oven until it bubbles and is browned on top. How hot? Well, that’s a good question. I’ve made it at 325, 350 and 375 and haven’t noticed much difference except in how fast it gets “done.” It’s really not cooking at this point, it’s just making sure everything is melted and hot. I find that 30 minutes at any of the temps does a good job but 375 makes it nice and brown on top. You’ll be able to see it bubbling out the top when it’s done. Don’t stress about times and temps. When it’s brown and bubbling, it’s done.